I'm back from my hiatus. For now, at least.

My life's been really chaotic lately. I feel that, as I'm getting older, I feel the need to break free. I was never one who'd go out to parties and come home stinking drunk. My mom would've probably killed me if I did. I was never really into that scene anyway. I preferred being at home where I could just chat on the phone for hours. Ask any of my primary school friends and they'll tell you it's true.

Yes, I talk a lot. Hence, people perceive me as being sociable. I don't really think I am. I think I'm shy and cautious when it comes to meeting people for the first time. I still am that way. It takes me a while to warm up to people. And I'm a blubbering idiot. I tend to say things that makes absolutely no sense sometimes.

Yea, I miss my high school days a lot. The only thing that worried me then was, "Would I pass that exam I took?", " Would this guy like me?" and " Where should I go shopping this weekend?"

Gosh.

This year is a trying year for me. It seems to be taxing me emotionally. I feel somehow that life's just been an emotional roller-coaster ride. I feel like my heart's been making the wrong choices. But at least this way, I know who I should cut out from my life as well as who my real friends are. I'm not really a great judge of character. I tend to have wishful thinkings of those whom I like.

But I need to move on. I need to stop dwelling in "what ifs" and "what could have been". It's hard, but I will forget eventually... and one day in the near future, when I do remember it, it'll just be a distant memory.

A bitter sweet memory.